A few years ago I listened to the audio book Eat Pray Love. It is the story of a woman who re-examines herself after a life change and goes in search of her new self. My hero, of course, plans ahead for her journey to foreign lands.
My life change has been a chronic illness and aging; also just a few years away from being an empty nester. I've found myself re-examining myself in the context of my functional limitations, treatment schedule and young adult children who increasingly are pulling away. I've also started looking toward my husband's retirement and went home to help care for my mom for a month and a half. She and I cleaned and cleared her bathroom and bedroom of clutter and things no longer relevant, so she could focus on what she needed and was important.
After returning to my home early this year and catching up on my life, I found myself starting to clear and clean my own clutter and things that are no longer relevant, so I can focus on what I need and is important. I also find myself wanting to prepare for a smaller household and move, so that I can expand my own inner search by journeying to not so foreign lands. This has made me remember Elizabeth Gilbert's book ... and the need to use or rid myself of things so I can travel lightly - in body and soul!
What follows are things others like me can do to begin to shed some of the weight that burdens us. The weights sometimes add work and time to what should be a simple routine, or divert resources away from what is more important.
1. My first stop was in the bathroom and my makeup drawer. Years of being a working woman meant looking the part. No longer do I want to need to wear makeup every day. And, there were things in that drawer that I will never wear again because it is out of style or as in the case of mascara, I can't due to tremors. What is left are the few things that I do want and need, a clean drawer and a little bowl of all the extra suit and dress buttons I always saved in case a mend was needed. For now, these buttons are a small reminder of what was my past.
2. In the kitchen, I'm currently going through drawers and cabinets and riding myself of things no longer or never needed and wanted. These are things like a set of frames that got lost so long ago and serving dishes that haven't served and probably never will. It also includes baking and cooking items bought over a generation, so that my three children could join me in the kitchen to learn to measure, cook, clean and appreciate accomplishments. These special items are offered to the kids and they are choosing what to keep and what to donate to others. All the empty sprinkles bottles and broken popsicle molds are going in recycling.
3. In my office... oh my office. The paper is being recycled slowly, but surely. I'm reliving the newspaper clippings, shredding old consulting files and recycling all the old business cards and back up materials to move me closer to a fully digital world. The extra space is being used for new interests and hobbies; including my Etsy shop that is great hand therapy and my store for people with functional limitations. There is also room for me to move gloves and hand tools closer to the garden.
4. Speaking of the garden. I can't do the big push gardening, as I did in the past. So I moved it outside my office where I can see it every day and enjoy short tinkering around the plants. In addition, walk up gardening is much more enjoyable and forces you to prioritize the amount of planting.
5. The collection of things in the garage was my most recent project. Skateboards, helmets, surf wear, balls and more went first to the local sports shop that buys used equipment. The rest was donated. Move boxes left by my young adults were consolidated and returned. Trash, empty boxes were pulled out and the rest was organized. The art desk - not touched in many moons - is partially done. The dried up finger paint and dough are in the trash. The beads have been donated in bits and spurts. I'll hold on to a few things that may come in handy for my new life or if I just need a little more time to give it up.
What's next? Our yard is a mini Lotusland and our collection of exotic plants. My husband and I can no longer manage the amount of care needed and in some cases need to thin what we have so other plants have more room. We will sell what we can, so others can enjoy our labors over several years. We will also prune and trim fruit trees down significantly to make them more manageable; and probably improve the quality of fruit at the expense of quantity, which isn't really needed. After that, the attic!
I have five years to prepare. Five years to continually lighten my load and free me from stuff and responsibilities no longer desired. Five years to reflect and prepare for a new journey. I'm off to a good start. Are you?
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